Slowly Crafted Monologue

magellen @ 2008-01-14T00:44:00

2008-01-14T05:45:29Z

AMY CROUSE IS THE BESTEST EVER AND SHE IS THE AWESOMEST.

Awesomest is now a word... and also my life is boring so i have nothing to talk about, but I do know that I have done nothing but spend time with Amy and Joey lately. and went to a wicked party.

magellen @ 2007-03-30T13:32:00

2007-03-30T17:33:08Z

I got a pretty haircut today but no one can ever see it perfect like it is now so i have to take a picture!

livejournal! how long we have been apart!

2006-12-26T21:33:42Z

So today it isnt christmas anymore and it isnt school anymore so there isn’t anymore stress. except when people create unnecessary stress. which is lame.

aaand what happened to me recently? nothing really that exciting. i’m tired because i dont like getting up at 7:30 and my ribs hurt from typing while laying on my stomach.

i miss laura and i need to take a shower and i watched march of the penguins yesterday. joey gets off work in like half an hour and then we’re going to go eat. i thought merry was coming but she left so i guess not.

i have this really strong desire to post a passive aggressive entry, but as i have not done that in probably a year, it would be annoying to get into such a habit again. AND nothing makes me as angry as fucking passive aggressive people. so i abstain.

what else? nothing really. i go to costa rica in january all month long. which will be fun and exciting. and then i come back for school which willl be neither fun nor exciting. well, i mean i will be lame and excited. and i have fridays off which is good.

and what ELSE?

i have to drop my minor which makes me a sad girl. because i love spanish and wish i knew it better. but fuck the spanish department in the ass, they’re never ever going to work with a student on scheduling EVER. so i lose on that deal. alright, i guess that’s all i got.

school

2006-11-20T05:54:30Z

this thing just popped up into my screen for no reason so here is a livejournal post about it.

also im writing a paper so please, livejournal client, stop interrupting me.

school

2006-08-21T03:53:12Z

So school starts again in like 9 days and call me a loser, but that’s exciting. i have some of my books already and that’s also exciting. because im also a loser. and what else? dave came home and left and he was as super as ever. though 15 days is not very long and he should come back soon. my last day at applebee’s before school starts is on the 26th and they are like no quit linens n things instead. for some reason i dont do this, but i dont know why. so yeah my life is kinda sucky sometimes, but its getting better when school starts cause there will be less work and more laurer. and maybe alcohol and time to drink it, because a freezer full of tequila does you no good if you don’t have the time to drink it properly

though the good news is that im helping laurer move in and then spending the night on the first day of classes. and thats nice. maybe on her futon!

AWESOME!

work

2006-07-01T15:16:11Z

so dave comes home on the 18th and thats so exciting. i mostly cant wait to see him. also, working two jobs pretty much blows. hard. im thinking about deciding on a day and telling linens n things AND applebees that im not available on that day. so that i have a guaranteed day off every week. cause as its going, i am getting no days off ever. in life. though i may have one this upcoming week, depending on my applebees schedule. anyway, its 11:14 and i have to be at applebees at 11:30, so i should get going. even though it takes 4 minutes to drive there. never hurts to be early and ALSO, i hate that job with a passion.

i need to go to sleep.

2006-06-06T04:41:19Z

sometimes bad things happen to people i dont like. not like earth-shatteringly bad things, but not trivial either... and i get pretty happy about it because im like. you deserve that.

does that make me terrible?

i'll make the most of it (don't lie, im pretty extraordinary.)

2006-05-30T05:32:01Z

so i have orientation at applebees tomorrow at like 2 or 230 i think. i have to call in the morning and be like hey guys orientation? and they will tell me “if” i can come in for it. i dont know if that maybe means that i will not get to work there. dunno.

and there was this thing last night and it was weird. and my life is a little weirdish i think, but not really my life, but now i have drama in this group of friends that im not really a part of? and thats weird for me. mostly, i used to be better versed in drama. like last year, i was pretty good at drama, but now im just not interested in it. like meh, how can we minimize the drama? and then it like appears at my doorstep and i realize that im the only person ever who wants to minimize drama.

aaaand in other news, claire gave me the new fiona apple cd. its called extraordinary machine. and the first time i heard it i was like meh. but its pretty wicked and very weird and i like things that are weird. i didnt know i had any interest in fiona apple, but apparently i do. and i love claire.

and ive been working like all weekend, which is not so lame except that our 2day sale was really lame. and everyone was like i hate you and the two day sale is suposed to tailor to me. when youre out of things, i need you to be unout of them so that i can have them. i hate people.

what else? i move in on the 16th and thats really exciting, a LOT exciting but also scary cause of not ever having money and not having packed yet. and there is going to be some sort of party for housewarming and it will be fun and good, and then my birthday is like a couple days later and by that i really mean a week and i will be 20, which isnt even exciting because im like way younger than everyone ever. but i will be in my own house which will be exciting. but we have to go to ikea before then and i have to PACK but thats okay because i told myself that i would start hardxcore packing on the first of june.

working working working

2006-05-18T00:49:26Z

So, this summer I plan to work all the time. and drink slash be at the pool when im not working.

and live in an apartment with awesome people.

and lose weight.

so i like think i figured out what im going to about working at linens n things and getting another job even though huntington learning center is gay. I am going to try to get a job waitressing slash being a hostess and maybe edit peoples things on the side. I love english. And I think I decided to like work at linens n things in the mornings on monday wednesday friday and in the evenings on tuesday thursday and then anytime on sunday and then wherever im waitressing on m w f evenings and tu th mornings and whenever on saturday. and the writing center people might put together a tutoring company for extra money and i might do that if they do end up putting that together.

and joey should probably get out of old navy now, cause hes pretty much been there for long enough. but its all good cause merry gets out of work in like 15 minutes. and then i think i want to drive around on 40 to see what restaurants i want to apply at. I already applied at applebees online and i know i want to apply at loafers probably... and i dont know what else is on 40 right by our house, so that’s what I want to do.

also, I hope to go to the pool all the time in the future. claire, this is your responsibility. force me to do it. and also the lose weight thing. I’m also starting south beach today, but I already ate nachos and drank a beer which are not on south beach, especially not phase 1. thats ok though cause since the nachos i havent had anything bad and the beer doesnt count cause im not going on a diet from alcohol, i refuse.

and i hung out with lauren and marlise last night and that was cool. but then they called today and my phone was in my car so i didnt like you know answer. and then i got caught up being all planning my life and taking food to joey and going to borders with merry and buying cien años de soledad and trying slash failing to read it. speaking of which im going to look up spanish classes i can take right now.

writing center

2006-04-13T22:23:53Z

so i am at the writing center right now, and I'm pretty bored cause I sent myself the draft of my spanish essay to revise but i sent the wrong one so its in mac format and i cant open it on this computer. and i also brought the hard copy of the essay so that i could have the teacher's comments on it and then realized that it was the hard copy of another spanish essay so i cant even work from that. so now im bored and have decided to post some pictures for absolutely no reason.

Pretty much the cutest picture ever. I mean, let's be honest with ourselves.

Sam and I cooking dinner like some amount of time ago. (Mostly Sam cooking and me shaking a pot of potatoes.)

The end result. Yes, those ARE club crackers with smoked salmon and cucumber on them.

My new facebook picture, and would-be myspace picture, but I just love my current one too much.

And this is a terrible picture of me, but i just wanted to say that im marrying doug barrow.

Also, I have given up something for lent and am currently eating Kosher for Passover.

And everyone is like why? you're pretty gay. But I don't have to explain it to anyone. so there.

it's far too warm in my room, and no one really cares about samuel johnson anyway.

2006-03-28T22:41:10Z

so i pretty much had the worst dream ever last night. and by worst i mean best, but jesus christ.

and my unconcious mind is trying to like pretty much kill me and i hate it for it.

and i have to go to work tonight and then study for english.... and do my spanish homework because i realized that participating in spanish class is pretty much good for my soul. and im trying to talk to some people about going to costa rica in the whatsitcalled, but theyre all like go! go! and im all like, i dont know man i am broke and theyre like scholarship! and im like pay for all of it and we have a deal.

so thats all i dont know. i should get dressed for linens n things.

so something something, my last spring break day at ellicott city, fighting with joey, and the whole world's birthday.

2006-03-19T03:37:14Z

so today i like went to work at ellicott city for the last time this break... and i think its bad that “ellicott” looks funny to me because i never type it, but i do type “elliott” sometimes and then “ellicott” looks like “elliott” with a c. are there even 2 ls and 2 ts in ellicott? i have no idea. and thats my place of residence, man. that’s important. no clue. anyway, so i worked with priscilla who, contrary to the opinion of most of the 245 world, i effing love. shes pretty much my favorite manager ever, and i think even when put up against eric, which is pretty much saying something cause i would have carried eric’s child. though priscilla wont yell at me and that pretty much sucks. i figured out that i like getting yelled at when i fuck up. and thats interesting to me. but no one ever yells at me when i fuck up. not even joey anymore and thats pretty lame, joey.

and so mostly speaking of joey, i like have semi-fought with joey three times this week and each time we effing make up before it gets violent. and that mostly sucks and especially this time because i didnt even know we were fighting until we made up. which was lame for me and i didnt even get to be properly mad at him. and earlier this week he just ignored me being mad at him and then we all forgot about it... and the time before that was like the gayest thing ever and it was just pretty much not even GOING to get violent so im okay with that one.

and so today is march 23, which is distinctly past march 22, and this happened before i really knew what was going on. someone at work today was just like hey its the 23rd right? and i was like no, man its totally the 22nd and they were like youre wrong, and then i was. so im mostly a douche but its ok.

and tomorrow im going up to towson to get my monies from them cause im retarded and spent the last dollar in my checking account today. and i really dont want to transfer money from my savings cause that will fuck everything up and i’ll never save any money. also, its like almost 1:30 and i am not doing anything real, and i cant sleep. and that’s pretty lame. i wonder where my cell phone is.

that’s all with the livejournaling, man this is getting lengthy again. i think this is a problem.

magellen @ 2006-02-25T14:32:00

2006-02-25T19:31:55Z

my journal has been doing this thing where it replaces entries instead of adding them... and thats lame so this is a test.

anoche

2006-02-21T07:36:42Z

so last night i went to h&m with everybody and bought two shirts and they were cute and it was fun and we ate at fuddruckers... and got stuck in the worst traffic on the planet ever so it took us like no joke an hour to get there. so that was pretty damn lame. and then we came home and showered and such and charlie came over and i went out with elliott and his friends.

and mostly, we went to a bar and it was fun and then we were talking to the bartender after he was done being the bartender and he was like you look really familiar... whats your name and i was like jen. and he was like i worked with a jen once... she was from howard county... and i was like im from howard county and he was like you look a lot like her, but i dont think i worked with you. and i was like no, i think i would remember that (and unless it was at linens n things, theres no way its possible). and then he was like trying to place where he thought he had seen me before and he’s looking all pensive and he asks “how old are you” and im like hey this is a conversation, plus im mostly retarded and have like three and a halfish drinks in me and i go “19.” HAHAHAHAHAHA oh, jen. you cant tell bartenders youre 19 when youre holding a beer in their bar! and then elliott handled it. oh, im such an idiot.

and then we left this bar and went to elliotts where we played pool and i played pool too and that was pretty exciting. partly cause i was playing with three other girls and i wasnt the worst. i was right in the middle. and then we played something and elliott played too and i kicked everyones ass but it was only because of this one time in the middle of the game when elliott helped me and pretty much made it impossible for me to not win. also, i got three in in a row... which was pretty much a lot me and only the first one was elliott’s help. so i was proud of that.

and then we talked or something and then everyone went home and elliott and i watched fosters while grizzle was in the bathroom. and then... i came home at 6am and went to sleep, and didnt sleep very well at all and now i have to work in 2 and a half hours. perhaps i will make myself some ramen.

claire and joey need to be home now.

2006-01-28T19:17:06Z

so i talked to my mom for a long time this morning... like from the time i woke up at 10 until like half an hour ago. and we talked about my tattoo and other things. and how she thinks i should move out with joey and merry in june and how i can do it. and so we sat down and made a spreadsheet of numbers and such and decided i need a new job like as a sylvan learning center person and sent my resume to huntington learning center.

but first we had to like update it cause i hadnt done anything with it since... 2002. and so i added stuff and realized that i had 4 jobs on there and that i was still doing all of them. linens n things was already there. the controllers office was new. i decided that i was going to put tutoring mikey down as a job cause i am going to get paid for it now. and i put the college writing center down as a job cause i start it like next week.

but it works because i do linens n things at night, controllers office during the day, mikey once every other week, and writing center before the oc.

and the best part is that the writing center and mikey pretty much are no money. cause thats how it works out. but i have to come home every other friday now. which is sorta good, plus-like. not that im going to like hang out here every time, but i have to tutor mikey from 4-5ish and then i’ll probly go out to dinner with joey and merry if theyre not working and take dinner to linens n things or something otherwise... and then go back to school. and the money i make tutoring mikey will pay for the dinner which is exciting.

so i mostly miss home already

2006-01-28T05:06:43Z

i have a huge papercut gash on my finger. and i have tried to take the bandaid off twice today but the little extra flap of skin keeps getting caught on shit and thats just gross. and a little painful. maybe i will let it out for the sleeping time.

and those people we hang out with sometimes tried to get us to go to this show tonight because its that guy rob’s band. the same guy rob who was at panera that one time when claire and i were there and i was way weird and awkward for no apparent reason. that was sweet.

except not rachael shes not there. so i guess its not even those people we hang out with, because we’ve never really hung out with them, we only like see them at parties. mostly... their parties. but on a more interesting note rachael is in georgia.

and is it really odd if i just like sit and look at my tattoo and wait for it to be not swollen anymore? cause i feel like all douchey and stupid about it but i just want the swelling to stop. but it has been like 32 hours now and thats good. i like to think the swelling is going down, even if im mostly just making it up in my head.

and now im off to bed because even though it is my last friday home, merry and i spent it packing my room, listening to bad music, and watching from justin to kelly, which mostly counts as listening to bad music. and im getting up at 9 tomorrow to do laundry and finish packing and to put stuff in my car. so that when i go to work at 4 i can not think about having to (a) put stuff in my car after work or (b) get up early to put stuff in the car.

but it's SUGAR FREE

2006-01-24T06:41:51Z

so i go to school on sunday. and i mostly like 95% dont want to. the work, the drama, the stress...
its just so much. and i hope i feel better before then. but im still sick. and im watching the twilight zone which makes me think of the tower of terror. which makes me think of like mgm, which makes me want to go on vacation, but i cant because its almost time for it to be school again.

also, joey and merry and i are thinking about moving out in like june. and i think it will most likely work out. and i hope so cause i keep thinking about it and it sounds like this really good idea. we’re thinking about going to windsor mill but i dont know if thats like the ghetto or anything. haha any place called windsor mill cant be that bad right? suuure. but i have to talk to financial aid and see how much of the $8,000 they charge me for room and board they will consider giving back to me, even though they just GIVE me a good portion of it.

and claire and i went in to linens n things towson today, and i dont know if alex was serious or not but he said he was like going to miami? and i think i was too busy telling him he was full of shit to hear that i think he meant that he was like MOVING there. which i honestly dont really care about, but i might should have paid a little more attention.

THAT IS ALL

it says right here, "Trojus mechen... I was a sad girl to hear about fiona" Fuckin A, scott i'm in INTRO to german and i know that.

2006-01-22T06:14:23Z

so i just took that tell me about yourself survey on myspace.... which i mostly stole from merry but partly just from the world. and there was some crazy html in it which it generated all by itself and then it was going to post all aligned wrong and in the wrong font... and having some sort of strange typing box next to it.

so to make a long story short i found the problem in the html and fixed it and now i feel competent and like a useful member of society.

also, this is like mostly my last saturday in columbia and im sad about it. i mean i can come visit from school but i dont really do that. and i had a fight with my mom today and i was like you want to fight with me now of all times. go home. ugh. but then i realized she was home. haha. that made like no sense, and i dont care. im completely tired and going to bed now.

so i think im going livejournal crazy.

2006-01-20T03:21:33Z

to the extent that i’m not exactly sure what im going to say in this entry.

i have a date with the lovely and talented merry tomorrow, and a doctors appointment.

and here’s a random conversation with claire:
Me (1:42:45 AM): haha i love claire.
Me (1:42:49 AM): youre so me-like.
Claire (1:43:12 AM): lame
Me (1:43:19 AM): well thanks.

haha. also, i have the flu and no nyquil. and my mom used to keep like eccinacea and zinc losenges... which elliott reccomended and i would have forgotten about otherwise... but we dont have any of those EITHER. i sometimes think my mom only stocks medicine she knows i wont need. like stool softener. i dont think ive EVER needed stool softener. as a matter of fact, we have had the same UNOPENED BOTTLE since i lived in the apartments off 40 during the blizzard of ‘96 (which was actually in december of ‘95) and heartburn medicine, which i bet she just feels like she needs because normal people get heartburn, but im pretty sure she doesnt really

AAAAND that entry was old and i never posted it for some reason... whatever.

so, i went on a date with merry last night and it was fun. we were totally stumped on where to go and what to do, so her mom was like go to starbucks and talk about college people. and we were like that’s an EXCELLENT idea. but then we got almost to starbucks and decided to go to rocky run instead, which we all know im always up for. jesus i love rocky run. i was like extremely full after my meal, but still had to get a mini mousse. because sometimes, you go to rocky run and its just mandatory. and that was pretty excellent. and then we drove around for a while before deciding to go to merry’s house where we watched an episode of foster’s home for imaginary friends on her computer-tv and then watched nip/tuck and played with condoms. and sang old songs loudly.

and then i got home and found out that i had stood elliott up for this date we were supposed to have? which i think is untrue, considering i was not told that these were concrete plans. but i figure now we’re even.

and then i stayed up talking to claire and merry about things and myspacing.
and today, i go to ikea with claire and joey and merry comes because she hates target.

magellen @ 2006-01-17T04:01:00

2006-01-17T09:01:17Z

also, that last entry like replaced the previous one... for some unknown reason. haha. oops?

sometimes i wish the sheets would stay on my bed. that's all. just stay.

2006-01-16T06:19:37Z

to be honest, i dont get the headline feature on myspace... and i dont think i ever will.

also, i have like three hours this week. and that totally sucks, but its okay because i go back to towson soon. and that should be wicked-ish. also, i have completely fffffucked my sleep schedule... as can be clearly seen by the fact that i am awake now at ten of four in the morning for absolutely no reason. for a while there i was going to bed at 2am, waking up at noon, working like 3/4-10, and then doing shit until 2. now it seems to be getting later and i seem to not ever want to get out of bed.

consequently, i am taking lunch to joey tomorrow at one. from arbys. so it should be wicked.

mostly, arbys is the only fast food restaurant that i decided i could go to even though i have this no fast food or soda for one year thing... and joey says pizza is fast food, but i say that clearly if they deliver, it isnt fast food. i mean what kind of fast food place delivers. someone came back at that with the idea that it is like the fastest food you can get, but i also disagree with that. like honestly, if i were to go to mcdonalds, eat, and come home, i bet i could do it in less time than it would take for a pizza place to deliver.

and i have this strange feeling in the back of my throat. and i think i might be getting sick. and i have a doctors appointment on wednesday but not for that. and now im actually getting tired, so i think i might sleep.

one last thing though.
there are like fifty thousand people i never talk to anymore, and i am sad about this. i heart you all and we should talk some more, cause if i remember correctly, you rock.

full circle of not my fault.

2006-01-15T21:43:51Z

yeah so there was this party at elliotts last night and sometimes im retarded when there is alcohol involved. but im sure there is some sort of maintenence which can be done. also, boys should be oblivious. cause thats how nature works.

and claire is coming over when she gets off work at ...6 and then we will all go to the store meeting at 7 and then joey works overnight and claire and i go to see brokeback mountain and im pretty pumped for that cause i mean i love men.

and something happened last night and it was wicked for joey but i dont think he recognized it as such. i love the internet.

also, rachael is freakin awesome. shes my good friend and that is all. i think i am writing this is some sort of strange stilted english which communicates words but no more. i dont know, this is a weird mood i find myself in. i think my stomach is eating itself, and i would eat something to prevent this, but claire tells me that there will be pizza at the store meeting, but thats not for like 2 more hours. also, i love people.

this is a good day even though sometimes im retarded.

how LAME

2006-01-12T20:29:20Z

so im about to go to work and i really mostly just dont feel like it. but maybe someone freakin wicked will be there. well, claire will be there. and shes pretty freakin wicked.

i dont know, mostly my life would be greatly improved right now if i worked in the mornings instead of at night. cause im pretty much sick of sleeping all day and working at night and not doing anything after.

but on the bright side of things i went shopping yesterday and i love towson and i have all new things. i love gift cards. and i went into linens n things there but alex wasnt there so claire didnt get to meet him so it was mostly a failed mission, though i did tell trudy when i can come back to work there. so its good, i guess. i mean i didnt have to like... be like oh alex isnt here? damn i’ll leave then. cause that would be awkward.

and i close tonight, most likely with priscilla. and i dont really feel like closing cause closing is way lame. but i think i’ll like get ready and go. at least tomorrow i close with joey. so my life isnt like 100% lame tomorrow.

bestdayofmylifepart2

2006-01-07T08:54:41Z

so were it a little more boring to be me right now, i would most likely be asleep. and this would be a good thing and i wouldnt have to worry about how in the hell i was going to make it through work tomorrow, considering i have to wake up in 4 hours.

it is NOT boring to be me right now, however, and thusly i cannot sleep. sometimes when good things happen i get like this, and its lame.

in other news... i work 9-5 tomorrow. and i think that i will see if claire will go to towson with me when she gets off work at 7. cause that would be wicked. cause i could go to victorias secret in the mall there and use my gift card and maybe american eagle and definitely linens n things to visit people and get money.

ok now im going to force myself to sleep.

you know what's an awesome name? Elliott.

2006-01-05T07:33:54Z

so i feel pretty weird right now. like a little headachey and a little crampy and a little woozy. i think it has to do with the headache ive had for a couple hours now and my period and this gum cause i think gum mostly makes me feel ill. either that or theres some sort of crisis situation going on, but i sort of mostly doubt that.

aaaaaaaand i sometimes get emails from arnie about 215 and its cool. and then i realize that i should mostly not get excited about these things. maybe i should just go to sleep and pretend not to be as lame as this haha.

but... i emailed dave and that was interesting. i dont know why i post that i emailed dave, i dont think this is the first time ive mentioned it here. its pretty much safe to say that most nights the last thing i do before i go to sleep is email dave. but it keeps making me think about iraq when i post here that ive emailed him. when i just email him without mentioning it anywhere else, its like hes just in fallston and im emailing him. i dont know, does that make sense?

i dont know but im having lunch with pompei tomorrow and it should be fun. we’re going to the blue cow cafe which is a good place, although it used to make me think of aaron and i was like i cant go here with anyone but aaron... but then i realized that i can so its all good. but i do think of that valentines day most times i go in there. and i dont want to go cause pompei always asks this question which is always more complicated for me than for the other people which is “do you have a boyfriend?” and i always think perhaps i should prepare an answer for that in advance. haha. but this time i just get to say NO. which, though it seems ungood, is at least a yes or no so we will smile about it.

also, ignore this ranting about nothing... i dont really know. haha im in a strange mood today.

last comment for the night: i need to branch out and not have only two friends because that would be okay if they werent dating. and i want to put an internet heart here but it always thinks its just bad html and ignores it and refuses to include it. so imagine it. here.